No.
It’s a tough word. Tough to hear … and tough to say.
If you’re a people pleaser, saying no feels unnatural.
If you lack strong convictions, saying no creates confusion.
Yet, saying no creates the necessary space for you to surround yourself with the right people and seize the right opportunities.
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A couple weeks ago, I was skimming the New York Times when I found myself re-reading this comment from supermodel/actress/Hollywood-it-girl Cara Delevigne:
“I love saying no. Before, I didn’t, and it took a huge toll on my health and happiness.”
While she could make a lot of money modeling, she’s decided to part ways with her modeling agency and scale back on modeling jobs to focus on acting, her true aspiration.
But to get to a point where you love saying no? I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but as I pondered that mindset, I got what she meant. I used to feel bad saying no. Now, I realize that I need set my prioritizes and make sure I’m spending time advancing those goals, causes, and projects. I also don’t feel comfortable working on projects that go against my personal beliefs. Just as Cara is leaving money on the table by turning down modeling contracts, it’s also why I say no to prospective clients. Not every job or opportunity is the right fit. For example, we were asked to work on the grand opening of a national retailer known for selling guns. In doing my research, I discovered that they’re well known for following the bare minimum federal standards. As someone who believes in the need for more gun control, I realized that wasn’t a project I’d be comfortable working on. The company was a better fit for some other agency.
Learning to set boundaries — personally and professionally — can be challenging. And, sometimes you have to go through a really bad situation before the line becomes crystal clear (spoken from personal experience). But, knowing what you believe in, how you want to spend your time, the type of people you want in your life — these are all critical pieces.
“Values alignment” is something I think about a lot with regard to business development. We established House Rules — 10 guiding philosophies that shape how we interact with clients and partners, make personnel decisions, and approach our work. I gravitate toward clients whose values align with ours. Now, that doesn’t mean I’ll only work with people of a certain political persuasion. But, it does mean that I’ll walk away from work before compromising my values, breaking our House Rules, or putting my team in a losing situation.
I posted the article from PR Week announcing that the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion hired a PR firm. If you were approach by this person, would you agree to work with him? On one hand, it’s a major crisis and an opportunity to show your crisis communication skills. Plus, he’s facing global backlash, so I bet you’d rack up a lot of billable hours. Personally though, I’d walk away from the work. Our values — around guns, hunting for sport and protecting endangered species — don’t align.
That’s a perfect example where I’d love to say no.