Mar16

Say Hello: Beyond Social Media Cliques

by Heather Whaling

I have a confession: I wasn’t the cool kid in high school. Now, don’t get me wrong: I wasn’t a complete nerd … but I was in the orchestra and I did go to yearbook camp.

I’m only telling you that now to explain that I know what it’s like to go somewhere and feel like you don’t totally fit in. Or, to show up at an event and pretend to look busy … when in reality you just don’t know who to talk to or where to stand.

***

Chris Brogan wrote a post the other day that really touched a nerve. In “We Could Do So Much More,” Chris shared something he noticed at South by Southwest:

Know what I saw more than anything else when I really took a moment to look around? Lonely people. I saw people not connecting. I saw lots of people who could’ve used a little attention. And I saw many people with lots of energy looking for a place to put it. And that means we have opportunities.

That really bothers me. I hate when things are clique-ish. I’m fortunate that I met a great group of people online. People like Danny Brown, Arik Hanson and Lauren Fernandez were among the first that I really connected with — and who helped me connect with others. As much as I want to believe I don’t have a social media clique, I think we all have a “home base” of people we feel comfortable with. (In fact, that’s part of what led Justin Goldsborough, Valerie Simon and me to host #chatmixer last week — we wanted to help people expand their networks.) Every day, there are new people signing up for Twitter — just trying to find their way. But, if we’re all so busy talking to our existing group of friends, how are these new people supposed to fit in?

I’m a big believer in the fact that sometimes people just need a little bit of help. And, it’s up to each of us to do our part.

So, here’s what I’m going to do: I want to meet you. If we’ve just tweeted — and even more so, if we’ve never tweeted or emailed … or if we’ve lost touch … or if you just want to catch up — I am setting aside some time every weekday from March 22 – April 2 to get to know you. From 8-9 a.m. EDT Monday through Friday, I’m available via Skype to talk to you. I’ll commit to one 20-minute call per time slot. We can chat about whatever you want (no sales calls!): PR, social media, nonprofits and social good, sports (especially March Madness or the Yankees), current events, your job, my job, your goals, people you’d like to meet — you pick the topic (within reason!). I realize that’s early for some of you, especially those of you out west, so I’m also setting aside 7-8 pm on Tuesday March 23 and March 30 to accommodate people who can’t make mornings work. My goal is not only to meet you, but to help you find people to connect with. If I can help facilitate introductions, even better.

This is either going to be really cool, and we’ll make lots of new connections, or it’s going to be a total flop. Either way, I like knowing that I’m trying to do my part to meet people outside my “home base” … and hopefully to make some people feel more welcome.

When Will We Meet?

The calendar is below. Click on “Tungle Me” and sign up for a 20-minute slot from 8-9 am EDT Monday – Friday or from 7-8 pm on Tuesdays. March 22 – April 16. Then, connect with me on Skype (I’m prTini), and we’ll go from there. I’m honestly looking forward to meeting you. Hope you’ll take me up on my offer! (Note: If you’re not comfortable/familiar with Tungle, that’s ok. I still want to meet you! Drop me an email at blog [at] gebencommunication.com with the day/time you’re free.)

UPDATE: It appears some people are having problems accessing Tungle (especially from their phones.) If the link below isn’t working, just shoot me an email to blog [at] gebencommunication.com and we’ll coordinate schedules like in the “olden” days!  Include which day/time you prefer, as well as a back-up option in case your first choice is already taken. Please try to stick to the times I’ve outlined above. :)


  • This is wonderful Heather! thanks for putting pen to paper... er... fingertips to keyboard. lol... I noticed at FreeStateSocial today that people seemed very engaged with eachother. Lots of handshakes and gentle hugs. I found a great little social media support system at The Social Media Club of Kansas City. Some of those folks I met at the first tweetup one year ago, are those I bank on at these events on and off "the field". My circle will never close due to too many... so I can't wait to meet you f2f... and anyone else who wants to connect and talk nerdy social media. or anything else. LOL!
  • This is such a wonderful idea, Heather! But I have no clue how to Skype. :(
  • Thanks Heather,
    You have been a great help over the past year. I appreciate all the advice you have given in DMs and such.
  • social media have been very useful to mankind nowadays...
  • Great post Heather! Just like you, I'm always looking to connect with pretty much anyone. I'm going to have to take you up on your offer and schedule a time to say hello. The same goes for me. I'd love to hear from everyone, so if you check out my blog (www.jeff-peters.com) and twitter stream (@jpeters1221) and what I have to say is interesting to you, feel free to say hello.

    Bud I do have to ask...just what exactly is Yearbook camp?!
  • Great idea, Heather! Went to a #pieup last Sunday on pi day (3.14) and only one other person showed up, @admore. I've known Dave for quite some time now. We travel in the same social media circles, connect online, see each other at SM events and have chit chatted over the last year or two. But, I'd never really sat down and had a real conversation with him until that day. We talked for nearly 2 hours, had a great time and really connected on a deeper level.

    And that's exactly what you're talking about doing here. Spending some quality one-on-one time with those you are connected to in one community or another, but don't "really" know. I like it. May have to institute something like that myself.
  • TimOtis
    Though I'm a social media/PR guy, I am not an avid event-goer (tweet-ups, SMBs, you name it), rather I know my limits and pick and choose instead of being convinced by the masses or social media bandwagon. I think the invite you have put out to talk over Skype is quite appealing. Hopefully, we'll talk soon.

    By the way, how's pitchwithme coming along?

    Tim
  • heatherwhaling
    Tim, looking forward to it! :)
  • Fantastic idea. And a perfect example of why I continue to call you for advice, ideas and input re: client work.

    Oh, and it's cool to be a nerd these days. You know that, right? And there is nothing nerdy about learning how to play ANY musical instrument. Period.

    @arikhanson
  • TimOtis
    Arik,
    I am starting to think we tread the same blog reading path. That's okay by me!
  • heatherwhaling
    Yay for fellow music players! Arik, I think you lead by example -- you're very good about remaining in contact with your key of connections on Twitter, but you don't think twice about bringing someone new into the conversation. That's exactly what I'm trying to accomplish with my little experiment.
  • prtini,

    This is one of the nicest things I have ever heard of, reaching out in such a fashion. I hope you will tweet and blog about how it goes. Well done!

    Brian
  • heatherwhaling
    Brian, thanks so much for your kind words! I'll be sure to share how it all turns out!
  • Kay_MarDil
    Brilliant idea! Great post...I only did a few SXSWi events but also noticed the propensity of people to be gazing deeply into their iPhone and not into another's eyes. I saw many who only talked to the few people around them, obvious acquaintances. There's only one thing worse than not dancing with the one what brung ya, and that's ignoring the opportunity to be the belle (or beau) of the ball. Look around, head up, smile and say something to someone you don't know. Social media sometimes doesn't understand how to socialize.
  • marydemingbarber
    Heather,

    This is brilliant and I can't wait to meet on Skype. It will be the next best thing to real life. Thanks also for offering times for those of us not on the East Coast.

    Mary
  • So true. So true. Great idea. I'm signing up! This is what social media IS SUPPOSED to be all about.
  • heatherwhaling
    Jennifer, please DO sign up! I'd love to learn more about what you're doing with WTFLungCancer!! :)
  • You bet. You know, just stirring things up with a totally politically incorrect campaign. It's growing like mad. Look forward to chatting!
  • lauraclick
    Great post and wonderful idea. After all, making connections is what social media is all about!
  • There are a variety of reason why I liked you (before today), Heather...you're
    * smart
    * funny
    * savvy
    * honest

    But NOW I can honestly say that I Like you EVEN MORE!!! Who does this...?...HEATHER WHALING, that's who...! You truly believe in paying things forward, making yourself vulnerable and keeping things real. Wonderful attributes to have..and you have em' in shamrocks (since it's St. Paddy's Day).

    Keep on Rocking, Heather!

    Narciso Tovar
    Big Noise Communications
    @Narciso17
  • heatherwhaling
    Thanks for reading and for your incredibly sweet comment :)
  • aurorameyer
    Your bravery is in inspiration. I can't wait to hear how this experiment turns out!
  • heatherwhaling
    What's funny, is that before reading these comments, I didn't think I was doing anything brave. Just trying to be nice! :) thanks for stopping by and commenting.
  • I really hope people take you up on your offer, Heather. This is a great way to help newbies extend their networks and to step outside of our "regulars" realm and meet new folks as well. Selfishly, that was one of my goals coming out of #chatmixer -- build on my relationships with PR rock stars like you and Valerie, but also meet some folks I otherwise wouldn't have met and provide an easy way to join the PR Pro social community.

    Kudos to you for taking this step! Be interested to see how it goes.

    @jgoldsborough
  • heatherwhaling
    Likewise, I'm interested to see how it goes. So far, positive response ... now the question is, who will be the first person who wants to Skype with me :)
  • jeffespo
    This is a great concept that you are putting into action Heather. I'll be interested to see how it helps you build up your community.
  • laurenfernandez
    Aw, Heather! Thanks for the shoutout. Know why I wanted to connect with you? You are in one word incredible. Its hard to meet truly geniune people, and you are one of them.

    Keep rockin' it, lady.

    L
  • heatherwhaling
    Aww, thanks, Lauren! :)
blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous post:

Next post: