When I was planning my wedding, the idea of a bridal shower was horrifying for many reasons, but mostly because I didn’t want to be the center of attention. Ask any of my bridesmaids and they’ll tell you, I only agreed to a shower after they agreed to let me build in a charitable element to the day. That anti-center-of-attention thing sometimes comes out when people I don’t know compliments me on successfully launching and growing Geben Communication. As in, when someone offers me praise, I usually demur, saying something along the lines of “I’ve been really fortunate/lucky.”
But, thanks to a few recent conversations, I realized that this leads to a devaluing of my hard work, and consequently my skills and what Geben offers our clients. I have a client who talks about “positioning yourself to be lucky” — meaning taking the right steps so that when opportunities present themselves, you’re ready to seize them. I’ve worked hard the last year — and the years leading up to this — so that I could have the business I want and the freedom and flexibility to work with the clients and causes I believe in. That’s not just luck. That’s determination, long hours and a willingness to take risks.
Carol Roth shared a blog post yesterday, “Stop Trying to Convince Everyone You Suck” that makes my point for me:
The more you act like you’re “not worthy,” the more other people will believe you. And then they really WILL be annoyed that you’re taking up their time.
So give it up.
Fight for your greatness instead.
If you’re going to work that hard to persuade other people of something, you might as well persuade them that you’re awesome.
Why am I telling you this? Because I think there are lots of other people — especially women I know — who have the same problem. Instead of appreciating the recognition, you find a way to shift the attention. But, by doing that, you’re misrepresenting yourself and your hard work. Stop it. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. You can be accept praise without being arrogant or obnoxious. It’s a fine line … but a line we need to understand if we’re going to be succeed in business.