Comments on: Too Personal, Too Fast http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/ Collaboration, Integration, Social Good. Sun, 20 May 2012 10:06:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: elbiddulph http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1763 elbiddulph Wed, 28 Oct 2009 22:31:48 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1763 It's the modern twist on an old scheme. Years ago we used to get - via snail mail - an envelope with our address handwritten on it. Inside was an ad that appeared torn from a magazine, rough edges and all. On it was a post it note with a handwritten note, "Thought this would interest you. See you soon, J." Makes the recipient feel like it was coming from someone they know. Your example is the modern version of that old tactic. It's the modern twist on an old scheme. Years ago we used to get – via snail mail – an envelope with our address handwritten on it. Inside was an ad that appeared torn from a magazine, rough edges and all. On it was a post it note with a handwritten note, “Thought this would interest you. See you soon, J.” Makes the recipient feel like it was coming from someone they know. Your example is the modern version of that old tactic.

]]> By: rachelakay http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1762 rachelakay Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:23:54 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1762 Great questions here. In this particular case, it feels like a common theme I'm seeing in spam communication - taking on a familiar tone to make you feel like you are turning a friend down if you decide not to participate. It's shady, and most smart people will see through it, but I think there is a subset who gets sucked into that kind of correspondence. It's a shame that a non-profit has to go there, but everyone is desperate for money right now. But I know you and I agree that overall, people are way to familiar before getting to know someone first, which definitely comes in part from the casual tone of social media. It's so important to start slowly until you understand a person's comfort level. It's a lot harder to read someone in 140 characters than in a real life conversation. Great questions here. In this particular case, it feels like a common theme I'm seeing in spam communication – taking on a familiar tone to make you feel like you are turning a friend down if you decide not to participate. It's shady, and most smart people will see through it, but I think there is a subset who gets sucked into that kind of correspondence. It's a shame that a non-profit has to go there, but everyone is desperate for money right now. But I know you and I agree that overall, people are way to familiar before getting to know someone first, which definitely comes in part from the casual tone of social media. It's so important to start slowly until you understand a person's comfort level. It's a lot harder to read someone in 140 characters than in a real life conversation.

]]> By: heatherwhaling http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1761 heatherwhaling Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:25:59 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1761 I'm one of those people who isn't comfortable with hugging business contacts (really anyone other than immediate family ... boundary issues, I know!), which is why I was intrigued to hear other people's perspectives. I love the phrase "false intimacy." That's exactly what this is. Thanks for adding your two cents, Shannon! I'm one of those people who isn't comfortable with hugging business contacts (really anyone other than immediate family … boundary issues, I know!), which is why I was intrigued to hear other people's perspectives. I love the phrase “false intimacy.” That's exactly what this is. Thanks for adding your two cents, Shannon!

]]> By: Stuart Foster http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1760 Stuart Foster Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:25:12 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1760 Felt and looked weird from my standpoint. (This is coming from someone who regularly mixes). Felt and looked weird from my standpoint. (This is coming from someone who regularly mixes).

]]> By: shannonpaul http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1759 shannonpaul Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:21:06 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1759 I think the issue of false intimacy and Internet relationships is definitely a fascinating one -- there's a lot to work with here. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the tone of the first email as one that's too personal, but the follow-up email is definitely a little too pushy. Following someone on Twitter means you opt-in to viewing their Tweets in a Twitter stream -- nothing more. I don't think you opted into receiving their email newsletter. That's something completely different. <br><br>I think interacting on a personal level has its merits, but this isn't personal -- the person is confusing the business of fundraising with the personal side of networking, which is still a bit of a faux pas. Really good subject, thanks for bringing it up :) I think the issue of false intimacy and Internet relationships is definitely a fascinating one — there's a lot to work with here. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the tone of the first email as one that's too personal, but the follow-up email is definitely a little too pushy. Following someone on Twitter means you opt-in to viewing their Tweets in a Twitter stream — nothing more. I don't think you opted into receiving their email newsletter. That's something completely different.

I think interacting on a personal level has its merits, but this isn't personal — the person is confusing the business of fundraising with the personal side of networking, which is still a bit of a faux pas. Really good subject, thanks for bringing it up :)

]]> By: heatherwhaling http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1758 heatherwhaling Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:00:53 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1758 Lauren, you're absolutely right. I think it goes back to understanding what kind of writing tone is appropriate for each medium. An informal tone often found on blogs isn't necessarily the right tone for a more formal newsletter, for example. Great point! Lauren, you're absolutely right. I think it goes back to understanding what kind of writing tone is appropriate for each medium. An informal tone often found on blogs isn't necessarily the right tone for a more formal newsletter, for example. Great point!

]]> By: Teresa Basich http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1757 Teresa Basich Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:53:44 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1757 It's really interesting, I was actually talking to my mom yesterday about how awkward I felt receiving incredibly formal replies from some people I'll be interviewing from a freelance project. Despite the fact that I don't know them, I expected a slightly warmer, more human response.<br><br>This, though...is very intimate, and when it comes to nonprofits asking for money, I'm not sure this kind of intimacy is warranted right out the gate. I appreciate a warm reception, but I would be put off, too, if I received an email asking for a donation that was signed with an initial.<br><br>I think there's a happy medium -- professional, but with personality -- that is inviting enough to spark interest without overstepping bounds. All this social media involvement is great but there are definitely individual boundaries organizations have to be respectful of. Step over the line too many times (which isn't that many these days) and you've killed your opportunity.<br><br>Great question, Heather. :) It's really interesting, I was actually talking to my mom yesterday about how awkward I felt receiving incredibly formal replies from some people I'll be interviewing from a freelance project. Despite the fact that I don't know them, I expected a slightly warmer, more human response.

This, though…is very intimate, and when it comes to nonprofits asking for money, I'm not sure this kind of intimacy is warranted right out the gate. I appreciate a warm reception, but I would be put off, too, if I received an email asking for a donation that was signed with an initial.

I think there's a happy medium — professional, but with personality — that is inviting enough to spark interest without overstepping bounds. All this social media involvement is great but there are definitely individual boundaries organizations have to be respectful of. Step over the line too many times (which isn't that many these days) and you've killed your opportunity.

Great question, Heather. :)

]]> By: laurenfernandez http://prtini.com/too-personal-too-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-1756 laurenfernandez Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:46:34 +0000 http://prtini.com/?p=755#comment-1756 I think that many do not know how to communicate. They are told to make things more personal so a person feels comfortable, but they don't lay the foundation down first. A lot of it with NPs is that volunteers might send the e-mail, or someone that is lower on the totem pole. They might just not know the type of formal tone that is needed. For example, I see a lot of text speak when students e-mail me, and they don't even realize why thats wrong. I think that many do not know how to communicate. They are told to make things more personal so a person feels comfortable, but they don't lay the foundation down first. A lot of it with NPs is that volunteers might send the e-mail, or someone that is lower on the totem pole. They might just not know the type of formal tone that is needed. For example, I see a lot of text speak when students e-mail me, and they don't even realize why thats wrong.

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