My super cool husband figured out how to optimize prTini for the iPhone. So, now all of you who — like me — use the iPhone for everything from checking Facebook, sports scores and the weather … to playing music and making lists can now also easily read this great blog on your all-in-one phone.

Want to check it out? Bookmark http://m.prtini.com

If you’ve read this blog, you know that my beliefs are pretty out-of-sync with the Catholic church’s views of the world. So, imagine the chuckle I had when I saw that an article mentioning ME was posted to a Catholic web site. (Click on that link to see the article. It’s a re-posting of a story by the Sentinel’s tech reporter about interesting names for Wifi networks. Mine is called Go Bucks! That’s funny in Florida.) 

Ahh, the irony. I guess even Catholics can appreciate humor in funny names for WiFi networks.

I help co-facilitate a support group for women and one of this week’s discussions got me thinking about self-gratification or validation. In our group, one of the women has come SO far in the past few months. After being beaten and demoralized for virtually her entire life, she’s finally regaining her self-confidence and figuring out who she is and what she wants. She even decided maybe it was time — after years of being single — to wade back into the dating pool. She went on a date last week and the guy seemed super nice. He pulled out her chair … told her she was beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to hear that?? They went back to her house and he tried to move things along too quickly for her comfort level. She said no and he didn’t understand boundaries — saying awful things to her and getting physical with her.

That situation has left this smart, funny, talented women depressed for the last four days. It brought back all the negative feelings that she had been trying so hard to overcome. Our group analyzed the situation and helped her realize that while she has made progress, she’s not totally healed yet. She doesn’t completely believe that she deserves more than an abusive relationship. She’s not convinced that she’ll fall in love with some great guy some day and get married. This one, random guy was able to raise her self-perception so high … and just as easily send it crashing. Going forward, she is going to work on healing herself and realizing that she is a good person and people are fortunate to have her in their lives.

That got me thinking about validation from others. There’s a book about love languages and one of the languages is words of affirmation. You want to hear people tell you how nice you look … how good a job you’re doing … how delicious that meal was. Words of praise are important. But, at what point does the need to be praised go too far? Do you think that you’re a good wife — or do you need someone to tell you so? Are you a good friend — or does someone always need to be reminding you?

At work, do you need someone to constantly be singing your praises? Or, do you know that you’re good at what you do? Even where I work, there are some people who constantly need to hear how great they are. Why are people so reliant on what others think about them? Maybe if people spent more time trying to understand themselves and how they fit into the puzzle — and less time focused on how other people perceive them — we’d end up with a world of stronger, more self-assured people. And, certainly that would be good for everyone.

Just some food for thought …

We finally got around to “carving” our pumpkin. Well, we didn’t actually carve the pumpkin — we dressed it up. In a costume. A Mr. Potato Head pirate costume to be exact. Whoever thought of “dressing up” one of my favorite childhood toys is brilliant. I love my Mr. Potato Head pumpkin!! (Lyndsay, I’m totally bringing this to the trick-or-treat party next weekend!)

Every October 15, the blogosphere unites to raise awareness about an important issue. Last year: the environment … this year, it’s poverty. I could write some great post about a poor woman in poverty and her struggles to feed her children, keep a roof over their heads and find employment. People who are reading this blog have probably heard those stories time and time again. Instead of hearing another sad story, hopefully, you’re more interested in learning what you can do to help.

That being said, Blog Action Day — the organizing group behind today’s efforts — collected suggestions for their bloggers. Click here to read the full listor check out ones I think anyone can try:

1. Eat meatless meals twice a week. Donate that grocery money to a local food bank.
2. Make a loan on Kiva, or buy a couple gift certificates and give them away to friends.
3. Get a group together to go door-to-door collecting canned foods for your local soup kitchen/shelter.
4. Take a homeless person to dinner and actually sit/talk with him. (Side note: My husband has done this and I think it’s an admirable thing to do. THat way, you’re helping them and just throwing money at someone.)
5. If you have a musical instrument you no longer use, donate to the still-struggling musicians and students in New Orleans, who are still recovering from Hurricane Katrina. A few great organizations that will accepts musical instruments are Tipitina’s Foundation (www.tipitinasfoundation.org) and The New Orleans Musicians Relief Fund (www.nomrf.org/donations.html).
6. Stop drinking Coke and bottled water for a day and save on plastic. Will save a lot of plastic if each of us does it for only one day.
7. Check your closet and make sure that anything you have not used last winter is taken to a charitable organization. Ask your friends and neighbors and volunteer to pick up the clothes, launder them and deliver them to those organizations. They will do no good in your closet and a world of good to someone in need.
8. Volunteer at a soup kitchen!
9. If you have Starbucks, or some other kind of coffee to-go, skip it for an entire week and donate the savings!
10. Educate yourself on one aspect of poverty that affects women, whether it’s educating yourself on what’s going on with rape or abortion legislation in your own local area, or finding out what you can do to help women in other countries attain the basic human rights they deserve, by doing research on organisations that help women and contributing to those organisations in some way.

Now, get to work!

My mom has officially entered the world of blogging! Who would have thought?!?!?

Check it out:

http://beingfullypresent.wordpress.com

Now, if only we can get her twittering …

Scott Maxwell is a columnist with the Orlando Sentinel. He does a very good job of taking aim and Democrats and Republicans. He offers fair commentary on the news. Today’s column is brilliant — summing up the frustration many people feel about so-called Christians who hide behind the Bible when it comes to “values” issues. I would suggest everyone take a minute to read this article about Christians who act very un-Christian-like when it comes to gay marriage. (It’s an issue getting a lot of attention these days in Florida, thanks to a proposed amendment on the ballot this November.) Maxwell writes:

What would Jesus do?

If Christ had $500, do you think he’d give it to a political campaign designed to strip rights from his servants — or a campaign to ban something already prohibited under the laws of the land?

Or do you think he’d spend it trying to help the downtrodden (Deuteronomy 15:8), trying to clothe the naked and feed the hungry (Luke 3:11) or standing up for the rights of the underrepresented (Proverbs 31:8)?

The point is that these groups are so obsessed with homosexuality that they lose sight of things that really matter. Why do you care if someone wants to marry someone of the same gender? Who are you to be so judgmental? Instead of wasting so many resources on something like this, try advocating for a cause that falls more in line with your Christian values. Feed the hungry. Help the homeless. Tutor a kid. Clean up a neighborhood. Do something that will strengthen your community. Isn’t that what faith and good works and compassion are all about, anyway?

I am sitting at my kitchen table, watching the festivities at Yankee Stadium and it’s hard to believe that my favorite baseball team is switching homes. The “House that Ruth Built” will provide that home-field advantage tonight for the last time.

Whether you love or hate the Yankees, there’s no denying the stadium’s place in sports lore. For me, spending large chucks of my childhood in New Jersey, I remember going to lots of games. I don’t really recall the details of many of them — I think I was in awe of the experience as a whole. But, there is nothing more amazing that walking in the stadium and looking at the white fence. There’s just something about that fence … it’s hard to even put into words.

I remember being a little kid and sitting just a few rows away from first base. (My uncle had the hook-up and got us really incredible seats.) I will also always remember sitting as far away as possible from the field — in the nose bleed section — to witness a Yankee/Red Sox game. My best friend and I surprised our boyfriends with tickets for Valentine’s Day. (Thank goodness our significant others can appreciate the greatest rivalry in professional sports!) Plus, there are countless memories on television. Homeruns. Perfect games. No hitters. Mr. November. Randy Velarde. Heartbreaking losses. I could go on and on. Who wasn’t glued to the television in the days after September 11, 2001 when the Yankees took the field for the first time — symbolizing the strength and resiliency of a city and a country?

I’m sure the new Yankee Stadium will be great. But, it will be difficult to top this kind of history and mystic. But, I can’t wait to go to my first game! Maybe next year, we’ll have to make a trip up north …

I’m a newlywed. Let me preface this post by saying that I really, really love being married. My husband is the greatest. I’m a very lucky girl.

That being said, I received the most absurd email today. The backstory: My husband’s company is one of my clients. (Trust me, I didn’t get the business because of that. We had to submit a proposal just like everyone else.) It’s never been an issue. I use my maiden name whenever I work on thier behalf. Currently, I am in the process of drafting an article for their company about this insanely complicated legal issue that no one has been able to clearly explain to me. They suggested I contact their attorney to get more details. So, I did. Many, many times. No response. Fine … attorneys think they’re busy. I get that.

Well, this afternoon, that attorney sends an email to my husband’s boss about the very topic I’ve been calling him about. And, he off-handedly says “Perhaps Whaling’s wife might mention this in her article?”

Hi. My name is Heather. I’m  the person who has left countless messages for you. I’m sure by now you know my name. In fact, I just emailed you yesterday … so I know I’m relatively close to the top of your inbox. I have a name. I have a career. In fact, I have a pretty good career. Make a good salary. Etc. I’m not just someone’s wife. Not that being just a wife is a bad thing. But, it’s not who I am … and it’s arrogant for someone to be so dismissive.

Four things I need to do:

1. By a new alarm clock. I can’t help but check my email when I set my alarm on my phone. So, last night as I’m about to crawl into bed at 11:30, I learn that one of my clients decided to cancel their retainer due to the recent economic downtown. Then, I was so annoyed that I couldn’t sleep for hours. So, I went to the couch and watched DVR-ed episodes of Days of Our Lives until my brain had finally stopped going a mile a minute.

2. Work from Barnes & Noble more often. I swear, in the two hours I was at Barnes & Noble today, I got more accomplished that I normally do in a full afternoon. There’s something about just sitting there with my laptop and a cup of tea. It’s productivity heaven. (Plus, there are no phones ringing and no people interrupting my train of thought.)

3. Research Kombucha. It’s a handmade Chinese tea. A raw, organic drink that a co-worker introduced me to. Slogan: “Living food for the living body.” It sounds disgusting, but it claims to have a lot of health benefits — improving digestion, metabloism, immune system, appetite control, weight control, liver function, anti-aging and healthy skin and hair. So far, I know it tastes good.

4. Find a location for “First Friday.” I am in the process of becoming the events chair for the local Democratic Party. My first event? Planning a happy hour at a bar of my choice. The first Friday of each month — hence the name — local Dems get together for a few cocktails to enjoy each other’s company and catch up on local politics. It’s a Happy Hour … how hard can it be? I’m sure I can find a good location for some “liberal” drinking.